HOCUS POCUS

Having a very good discussion last night. Actually, we always have a very good conversation, but at least last night I got something to learn other than gossiping.  Well, so many misunderstanding in this world, and sometimes, if not often, I am wondering why is that happening? Why is it so difficult for people to understand each other? You can call me naïve, but I believe that most of people in this world, if not everyone, have always a good side. I believe that no one is truly an evil.

But maybe what makes that problem happens is not because people is not understanding each other, but maybe because we are too confident that we understand other people. We are assuming that we know what they think about us and we know what their intention toward us. But, is that enough to make misunderstanding occur? Well, actually that is not enough. Sometimes, life is just like a chemical reaction. When two insignificant substances are combined, it can become a very significant new substance, either useful or dangerous to human life.

Another factor, as bang Aussie said, is that, our tendency to see other people, in the way we see ourselves. Bang Aussie gave an example, an honest person. An honest person can be wrong if they think that everyone is honest, cause to be real, not everyone in this world is honest. As result, he maybe will get bullied many times, or get cheated all the times. In contrast, dishonest person also have tendency to think that other people will act dishonest toward them. As result, they will be always cheating all the time. Why those thing happen? One explanation from bang Aussie that I think is quite logic is because; human capability is limited. It is impossible for us to understand everything, especially when it is related to human behaviors. Then what we are doing is taking an easy way out, that is by reflecting ourselves to others and sees others in the way we see ourselves.

So how can those two combinations of human behaviors cause misunderstanding among them? Or even when those combinations occur, as long as we keep ourselves in a circle of good people, (if we think that we are the good one), everything is just going to be fine, isn’t it? Well, again, to be real, as I said earlier that no one is a truly an evil, at the same time, no one is truly an angel. As human, we always have two sides, good side and a bad side. That is why God create evil and angel, and it is ours to choose which one we want to follow the most.

So when human have a good and a bad side, then what? Well, game theory has its part here, that is why it deserve a noble price It is like a prisoner dilemma every time we deal with other people. We know that we have a good and a bad side; we can be honest and dishonest. Then, we will try to figure out what others people think. As I mention above, we tend to see them as us, which mean they can be either bad or good. By game theory principle, if we think that they are good, but in the end they are actually bad, it will cost us a lot. We tend to take a safe move by assuming that other people are bad, so that we will not be defeated as much as otherwise. Then the first tendency occurs that we are think that we know what other people think. Final result, we are confidently assuming that other people are bad which can lead to misunderstanding among us.

So, there are three factors combine here, our tendency to see others as the way we see ourselves, our tendency to assume that we know what other people think, and the principle of game theory which take place in human interaction.

Well, anyway, above are just my own theory that I figure out from the discussion last night. It is not necessary right, but I just like to make a theory  But, I think it can explain some misunderstanding that happen among people, even though it can’t be applied for all cases. Those tendency is also not always occurring, because maybe there are others factor like trust, experience and many others thing as a result of ours interaction with other people who we trust or distrust completely.

For me, figuring out this simply just make me more aware and be careful in my interaction with other people. Maybe by knowing this I can avoid someone got me wrong or myself got other people wrong. Wise word said, "don’t assume, get the fact", other said "don’t judge too quickly". Easier said than done, but realizing is the first step of acting. Hopefully, better world can be created without misunderstanding…. And I really looking forward for this…