HOCUS POCUS

I’m not young enough to know everything —James Matthew Barrie

That quote distracted me quite a deal when I read it, coz it reflects what I feel know and what I was. Well, I was young and green (though I am still young now but I was younger and greener before ) Looking back to myself few years back, make me feel a bit shame, but most of the time it make me laugh to see how laughable I was. I was so full of myself, but the most laughable thing is that when I thought that I know everything.

Well, I don’t know what made me think I was on top of the world. Maybe, I just saw a very tiny part of the globe and thought that was the whole universe. It was very easy for me to judge people just based on the assumption. I thought that I can analyze everything; especially I was thinking that it was very easy for me to analyze people, which is completely wrong.

I remember that I told one of my friends, my junior in fact, that she didn’t suitable for the major that she had taken. Just based on my assumption on how unconfident she was with herself. But later on, knew her better, I admitted that I was wrong and I said sorry to her. Well, human capabilities are very complex. Maybe I was right that she lack on one factor which is not suitable for that major, but indeed she had many other factors that made herself able to overcome every obstacle she faced on it, which had been proven now.

Finally I realize that it surely needs time to understand other people, or maybe we will never really capable to know everything about other people. There are some examples, such as a couple who had lived together for so many years, but in the end realized that there were some secret they didn’t know about their spouse. Again, human are very complex, we never really know what other people capable to do. Nothing is more wrong than thinking that we know everything about someone so that they know nothing about themselves.

Having said that, it needs time to understand ourselves as well. Well, now I can say that I was wrong, but not before, when I was younger and greener and thinking that I know everything. Now, I realize that I don’t know everything, I can’t analyze people easily by assumption or a very little sample of behaviors; I can’t judge people good or bad; I can’t tell that someone is completely mistaken and I perfectly true; and most important thing is that I can’t think that other people are so wrong which make them need my help to fixed them 

At least, I know something now. I know that I was wrong and hopefully I can take lesson to be a better person. Because maybe, that’s what growing up is all about; to know what mistake we have done, not repeat the same mistake, and in the end of the day, we will be a better adult. In this case, I glad that I have some people who can give me constructive advice, to make me think and evaluate myself without turn out to be defensive. Otherwise, I am now still a boy in a man body and don’t realize that I am just a boy. Well, the most terrible thing in life is to become old too fast and wise too late, someone said. Hopefully it doesn’t happen in any of us….